Sunday, August 29, 2010

grant me a wish...

I'm the same demanding child yet again,
Harboring one more desire in the heart
I know I can ask, I can demand, I can request
For You are the greatest giver of all.

I yearn to be a bird, with wings giving flight to dreams,
But what kind of bird, I question myself,
May be a maina, chirping gleefully on the wall
Or a peacock fluttering elegant feathery crown
Or a bright green parrot with sparkling red beak
They all seem unique, they all seem perfect!

I yearn to be an animal, roaming in the wilderness
But what kind of animal, I question myself,
May be a fluffy snowy rabbit hopping around all day
Or a tall giraffe watching all from high up there
Or a regal lion with that majestic roar
They all seem unique, they all seem perfect!

I yearn to be a plant, grounded deeply to the Earth
But what kind of plant, I question myself,
May be a rose bush with colorful pretty flowers
Or a gigantic Banyan tree finding hard to see its ends
Or a curling twisting grape vine climbing slowly on a wall
They all seem unique, they all seem perfect!

Lord! make me anything, just give me a beautiful heart,
Which rejoices with happy, mourns with sorrowful,
Which celebrates with successful, motivates the failure,
Which applauds the uniqueness and admires Your magic.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Using the Wings

Age : 10+ years
The day was bright, the sun was in its usual regal place watching out for everybody, the gentle breeze was imparting life to everyone around, the colorful birds were making their presence felt by filling the atmosphere with their chirping. Everything was just as it should be, as it has been, as it would be perhaps. But there was some lurking fear, some corner of my heart not happy, something bothering me, some anxiety, some apprehension in my heart. I was not able to exactly place my finger on what was disturbing me but I could feel something was not right, something was not perfect. It felt like some emptiness somewhere, some fissure slowly tearing my heart apart. I was mechanically doing the daily routine tasks since last week but my soul was somewhere else, quite far from my physical body.

I got up from my desk which is against the window that gives me a beautiful view of the lawn outside and went out in the lawn. I wanted to bring a much desired interruption to my chain of thoughts which was leading me nowhere, so thought, perhaps a change of place would give me what I am looking for. I went to sit on my usual spot - the one under the mango tree and it felt good as the fresh air of early morning was working magically on my mind and body. But soon enough the same lurking fear caught me there too. I should have known. Whom am I trying to dodge - my own heart, which is with me all the time and for how long, is it even possible? So why not get comfortable with the lanes in which the heart wants to wander. I stopped fighting with it and for the time being let it take control of the feelings and mind. While sitting there totally under the heart's spell and feeling melancholy, I looked up and heard some commotion going on in the nest which the birds had built three weeks back. Since this place was my regular hangout spot, I had witnessed each and every stage of these birds - right from the diligent efforts of the maina birds collecting twigs, straws, dry grass blades and leaves to make the nest, to the egg laying and the egg hatching phases.

Now there were four baby birds in the nest and they were being provided with food at regular intervals by their parents. I had watched them doing it many times during the day. They had gradually become a part of my routine life, I enjoyed throwing a quick glance at them many times during the day or watching them for extended durations doing their duties. But today some unusual turbulence was happening in the nest, it felt like some noisy interaction going on between the nest inmates. Perhaps they also argue and disagree with each other as we humans do so often. I went inside my room and sat on the same desk again from where the nest was very clearly visible and soon enough I could see the reason for their loud chirping. It was the day when the parents were giving the baby birds the training to fly. They had set a very simple target first, one parent sat next to the nest and the other sat on the opposite branch. The one sitting next to the nest was pushing one baby bird at a time towards the opposite branch. For just a split second it felt like the baby bird would fall but then the survival instincts would kick in and they could flutter their wings to reach the opposite branch in the warmth of the parent's wings. This training session was so captivating that it was hard to take my eyes away from the scene and I earnestly watched the whole exercise of baby birds learning to fly.

At the end, the chirping grew even louder and I assumed it was the celebration time in the nest and this celebration was so well deserved.

Personally a part of me was rejoicing with them but one part was a little angry at the parents for their way of teaching the baby birds to fly. What if any of the baby birds could not make it and fell on the ground? Wasn’t it too difficult a training session for these creatures? Did the parents have no concern for their babies? But then thinking a little rationally I understood the importance of this kind of teaching. The baby birds needed to explore the world and be on their own and this training part was the most important lesson for their future life.

This small realization magically lifted the burden from my mind too as if my anxieties and fears also grew wings and were flying away. Was it the God's way to convey a message to me that I also need to explore the world on my own now and should come out of the comfort zone of the home? And going to a hostel for my higher studies is the necessary training phase of my life. Since last few days this was the thing which had been bothering me. The apprehensions of a new place, a new setup, new people, practically everything new. It is always difficult to be completely prepared for any change but then change is an inevitable thing and will happen anyway so atleast it can be approached with more positivity and more enthusiasm.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Nature - the Supreme Teacher

Age : 6+ years
From a distance it looked like a small, tiny, bright green speck on one of the branches of a huge Peepal tree. A new leaf was in the making. A new life, a new odyssey, a new journey was about to commence. It was a bright sparkling green leaf and within two days he unrolled his face towards the sun. The leaf glistened even brighter and shimmered in the rays with twinkle in the eyes. The tiny leaf was thrilled to see such beautiful world lit by shining sun all around. The dawn sun rays were slanting on the Peepal tree and were imparting a divine glow to everything that came in their fold bringing promise of a lovely day and a wonderful life. Gradually the leaf began noticing the tree he was connected to, he realized that he is a part of a huge tree, a member of a big family with many such beautiful leaves as his siblings and relatives. He was thoroughly enjoying being a part of a giant tree and to be experiencing such enchanting surroundings.

With the cheerfulness befitting a young soul as him, he got engrossed in observing and soaking up everything around him. Suddenly he heard a voice, somebody was calling him. He looked around, it was one of his relatives - a leaf just below him. But that leaf was quite unlike himself, he was all wrinkly, shriveled and almost pale yellow. The wrinkly leaf welcomed the new leaf and started talking to him as all elderly people do. They enjoy interacting with all and especially kids. The new leaf was playful and very observant too. While talking to the yellow wrinkly leaf, the young leaf asked him - "Why are you so different? Why do you have so many lines but I don't? Why do you look so shriveled?" This inquisitiveness made the wrinkly leaf laugh a little and he said, "You won't understand it now, but you will slowly come to know what these lines mean. Just keep observing things around you and you will get these same lines over a period of time."

It was spring time, the time when earth gets adorned with all fascinating new things - new baby plants raising their heads out of soil, beautiful flowers look like multicolor garlands around the necks of the plants and trees. The new leaf was feeling blessed to be a part of this big party going on in the nature. Some days passed and nature started displaying some changed colors all around, the Sun was getting more hotter, the water was less, even the soil looked very dry and cracked and the leaf felt thirsty almost all the time. Some of the little leaf's siblings and relatives were wilting, drying and dying in need of more water. But even in this scarcity, they all were trying to watch out for each other and share whatever the little water they had amongst themselves. United they stood to be of service to others forgetting about their own hardships. The little leaf learnt some most important lessons in his life during this time - sharing the limited possessions with everybody, to remain united even and especially in adversity and in spite of struggling hard to stay alive and green, the tree was always trying to be helpful to others by offering shade and resting place.
But this tough time also did not last long, soon there were gurgling and grumbling thick black clouds in the sky followed by much awaited rainfall. The parched soil got to quench its thirst to its fill and so did all the leaves, flowers, branches, stem and of course the roots. The leaf was happy for himself and for all his treemates. There was abundance of water but this was the time when they all were missing the warmth of the sunrays and then the leaf realized, it is easy to forget about the blessings when we have them. In the absence of these same blessings we tend to feel their need and value their presence in our lives.

After a couple of months it felt like the clouds have poured out all the water that they had been accumulating over time and they have no more, and the cool harsh winds started blowing and shook the trees hard. It was the dreadful time for all the leaves, especially the older ones because they were being shook vigorously by the winds and even after striving hard, they were not able to hold onto the tree. The leaf which was no longer a little leaf himself could see a lot of empty spaces being created on the grand Peepal tree, ready to welcome a new cycle of life, some new leaves and their new journeys. And on one such rough day the young leaf's first pal, the elderly leaf also bowed down to these mighty winds. The little leaf looked at the yellow leaf lying lifeless on the ground and felt a deep personal loss. While going down, the wrinkly yellow leaf asked the little leaf to now look at himself and see how many lines has he developed. The leaf did the same and was shocked to see almost the same kind of lines and wrinkles on his own face as he had noticed on the elderly leaf when he had just arrived on the tree.

The leaf was adequately equipped to comprehend everything, his own experiences had been his teacher all through. He was feeling honored to have these wrinkles as they signified his maturity over time. These were the lines of wisdom, of gain, of loss, of togetherness, of separation, of abundance, of scarcity, of life and of death. The leaf had the poise to appreciate the great inevitable changes in nature, one life making room for another for the larger betterment and growth. The leaf felt enriched and complete. These experiences were his prized treasures and the life lessons that he learnt were priceless.
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