Sunday, March 20, 2011
Age : 8+ years
This has always been the case with Meena, she never wants to bend her rigid ways for anybody and today was no exception. But then why am I getting so perturbed this time, I know her disposition, she wants it her way or no other way. Perhaps I am in one of those sulking moods today. Atleast one good thing is I am aware that I am just going downhill with this thinking. I am getting more and more agitated thinking about her and her idiosyncrasies. But I resolved silently within my heart, I need to modify my behaviour with her, she does not deserve the same me as I am with other good friends of mine. She should also feel the difference.
While deeply consumed in my own thoughts I did not even realize that I had already covered half the distance towards home and forgot to hire an auto. And now there was no point hiring one for the remaining distance and anyway the weather was really pleasant today, a big respite from the scorching heat of past week. The sky was overcast with thick grey clouds and a cool breeze was blowing, imparting the much needed relaxation to my agitated nerves. But after a short hiatus, the mind again went back to the same thoughts - why it happened, how could Meena expect this, how could she behave in this irrational manner. The same thoughts engulfed me once again, and this time the chain got broken only when little droplets of water fell on my face from the heavens above. I still had some distance to cover to reach home but the drizzling was a welcome development. I was enjoying the intermittent drops of rain reaching me. I love rain, I admire rain, I adore rain, I relish rain, I cherish rain. There is something in this natural process which always fills my heart with warmth and gratitude for this one of the most loveliest gifts to all of us. And at that moment I was glad that it started drizzling, taking my mind off the disturbing thoughts for sometime. I watched the rain drops falling one after another in rhythmic manner - some landing on my feet, one on a tiny ant which was just ahead of me, one on a little new leaf which was perhaps not more than a day old, one on a wilted yellow fallen leaf, some on the bags of excited schoolchildren who were walking ahead of me and some on the road - making all kinds of sounds.
The raindrops were falling unconditionally - on anything and everything. I just wondered, does it ever occur to the raindrops where to fall and where not to fall. Do the raindrops ever bother about losing their own identities, rather they seem to rejoice in sacrificing their selves the moment they land on anything. They do not select the recipients of their blessings. They do not try to judge whether anyone deserves their kindness or not. They are there for everyone to enjoy. How kind, how selfless, how unbiased. That was the moment, I knew my heart melted. Why was I being judgmental, why should my behavior be dependent on who is on the receiving end, why should I deteriorate my own self. Meena or anybody else, I should be the same person, no matter what. In that life transforming moment, I knew, I was a changed me - a much more peaceful one, a much more happier one.